New Year, New You? A Gentle Rethink.
As the year ends and a new one begins, many people feel pressure to reset, to set goals and to make resolutions. January is framed as a fresh start — a time to set goals, make resolutions, and promise ourselves change. For some, this feels hopeful. For others, it quietly brings guilt, pressure, or a sense that we’re already behind before the year has even begun.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different lens — one that focuses less on goals and more on values: what matters deeply to you, and how you want to live.
What is ACT?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based approach that helps people live in ways guided by their values, while learning to make room for difficult thoughts and emotions rather than struggling against them.
Why goal-focused resolutions often don’t last
Traditional New Year’s resolutions tend to focus on outcomes: exercise more, be less anxious, be more productive. While there’s nothing wrong with goals, they can become unhelpful when they are driven by pressure, comparison, or self-criticism.
Common difficulties with goal-focused resolutions include:
Setting goals based on what we think we should do
Measuring success only by outcomes, not effort or intention
Becoming discouraged when progress isn’t linear
When goals are disconnected from meaning, they are harder to sustain.
Values vs goals (from an ACT perspective)
In ACT, values are not achievements or endpoints. They are ongoing directions — qualities of action that can guide how you live.
For example:
• A goal might be exercise three times a week
• A value might be caring for my physical wellbeing
You can live in line with a value even when circumstances make goals harder to reach. A question to ask ourselves might be, “How do I want to show up in my life, even when things are difficult?”
When you act in line with your values, you may still experience discomfort, fear, or self-doubt. ACT doesn’t aim to remove these experiences, but to help you make room for them while continuing to move toward what matters. This can feel more compassionate and sustainable than constantly trying to fix or eliminate uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
A gentle reflection: A values-based way to approach the new year
A few questions we might ask ourselves as we head into the new year:
What feels meaningful to me at this stage of my life?
What kind of person do I want to be in my relationships, work, or parenting?
When life feels hard, how do I want to show up?
What is one small way I could act in line with my values this week?
There are no right answers — just an opportunity to notice what matters to you. For example, if you value connection, that might look like reaching out to one person, being more present in conversations, or allowing yourself to ask for support.
When extra support may help
If you find yourself feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from what’s meaningful, working with a psychologist can help you clarify your values and develop compassionate, practical ways to move forward. You don’t need a perfect plan or a list of resolutions for the new year. Sometimes, beginning with values — and allowing goals to follow — creates a steadier, kinder way forward. You may also like to read our related post on coping with children over the holidays, which explores the importance of supporting ourselves during high-demand periods like the holidays.
If this topic connects with your own experience, reach out to us here.
